Educate our Children in Emotions

Emotions determine our relationship with the world. Our mental health and personal well-being influence each other, depending largely on how we relate to the world, as well as the emotions generated by interacting with it.

At birth we do not have developed thought or language, we cannot even plan what we do, however, our emotions allow us to communicate and identify what is good and bad for us, reacting with basic behaviors that partially cover our emotional needs.

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"Teaching our kids about feelings is teaching them how to be joyful”

Emotional intelligence is the ability we have to become aware of our own emotions or those of others, as well as the ability to manage them. It is important that our children learn it from a young age, but adults, outside and within the family, also have to understand that expressing feelings is not bad, but rather helps us to be happier. It is important to apply assertiveness when exposing our emotions to the world, as well as learning to listen to others.

The ghost of school failure, the jobs that show, on occasions, a mediocre educational level in our country and the eternal challenge of languages ​​can make us forget that there are dimensions of our children's personality, more abstract and intangible, but that are also important for their development and therefore require education and support. That is why the education of their emotions will be vital to help them grow in understanding of what surrounds them.

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Parents need to be aware of our own feelings in order to be aware of our children's emotions as well. Respect for children's emotions means allowing them to feel and disagree with adults, considering them as people and not as second-level objects or people. We must give them the possibility to respond differently, being aware of their resources and their shortcomings.

Children learn to express themselves mainly by observing their parents, but in their case the emotions follow a different course and rhythm than ours. Theirs are intense, frequent, and their changes rapid. They constantly live in the present, as they have a hard time understanding what the future means. This is one of the reasons why when they feel sadness or fear they do so in a very intense way. We must take into account is that, to express and overcome certain feelings and emotions, they will need a very different process from ours.

It is important that they always feel welcome and listened to, and that we act showing that all feelings are legal, joy and sadness, love, fear and also, on occasion, anger.

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It is important to listen to them and give them an explanation in a language they understand. This is easy with what is more positive like happiness, but not so much when we are dealing with anger or prolonged sadness. In these cases, it is good to offer affection, company and understanding, but also to establish clear limits. For example: "It's normal to feel angry because you've lost the game, but your anger can't translate into kicking your brother or kicking a door." Explaining calmly, in a rational way, what happens to them, children, little by little, will understand their own feelings and accept those of others. After patiently explaining to them, we can try to redirect the situation with a little tickling time when they are little or with physical exercise when they are older, for example.

Without a doubt, the best “school” is for them to see that we express ourselves naturally and spontaneously. We do not have to hide that we are sad, worried or angry about something. We can share it with them showing serenity and self-control. Nothing better than a good example to follow.

Educate in emotions with stories, both for children and parents

Emotional education teaches us to control our fears, provides us with appropriate outlets for our rage, and guides us through the process of grieving. learning how to relate to others more effectively and comprehend their emotions.

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For this, stories are very useful, because children understand life through them and learn a lot. Albert Einstein said: “If you want your child to be intelligent, tell him stories. If you want him to be smarter, tell him more stories.”