12 Tips For Raising Self-Confident Children

From the moment they are born, children learn new skills at breakneck speed. And along with those new skills, they also gain the confidence to use them.

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As children get older, that confidence can be just as important as the skills themselves. In order to progress, children need to trust their own abilities and, at the same time, they need to know that they can handle the situation if they don't succeed at something . When children experience that they are good at something and can bounce back from failure, they develop healthy self-confidence.

Here are 12 ways you can prepare children to feel capable and make the most of their abilities and talents.

1. Be an example of self-confidence yourself. Even if you don't really feel it at all! Seeing him approach new tasks with optimism and lots of preparation sets a great example for children. That doesn't mean you should pretend to be perfect. 

2. Don't get upset about mistakes. Help children see that we all make mistakes and that the important thing is to learn from them, not stop for them. Confident people don't let the fear of failure get in the way (not because they're sure they'll never fail, but because they know how to take setbacks in stride).

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3. Encourage them to try new things. Instead of focusing all their energy on what they already excel at, it's good for kids to branch out. They feel competent and assured that they can handle anything that comes their way when they pick up new skills.

4. Allow children to fail. It's natural to want to protect your child from failure, but kids learn by trial and error, and missing a goal helps them realize it's not fatal. It can also push them to try harder, which will also help them as adults.

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5. Praise perseverance. Learning not to give up at the first frustration or back down after a setback is an important life skill. Confidence is not about being successful at everything, all the time, but about being resilient enough to keep trying, and not worry if you don't succeed.

6. Help children find their passion. Children can discover their own interests and grow a sense of identity, which is crucial for gaining confidence. Of course, seeing your talents expand will also be a huge boost to your self-esteem.

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7. Set goals. Setting goals, big and small, and achieving them makes kids feel strong. Help your child turn his wishes and dreams into practical goals by encouraging him to make a list of things he would like to accomplish. Then, practice breaking longer-term goals down into realistic objectives. This way, you'll be validating your child's interests and helping him learn the skills he'll need to achieve her goals throughout life.

8. Celebrate the effort. It's great to praise children for their accomplishments, but it's also important to let them know you're proud of their efforts, regardless of the outcome. Hard work is required to develop new skills, and the results are not always immediate. Let kids know you value their work, whether they're toddlers building with blocks or teens self-teaching the guitar.

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9. Expect your cooperation. They may complain, but kids feel more connected and valued when they're counted on to do age-appropriate jobs, from picking up toys to washing dishes to picking up younger siblings from a playdate. Homework and after school activities are great, but having your family need them is invaluable.

10. Accept imperfection. As adults, we know that perfection is unreal, and it's important that children get that message as soon as possible. Help children see that, whether on TV, in a magazine, or in their friends' social media posts , the idea that others are always happy, successful, and perfectly dressed is a fantasy and something destructive. Instead, remind them that being a little less than perfect is human, and there's nothing wrong with that.

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11. Set them up for success. Challenges are good for children, but they should also have opportunities where they can be sure they will succeed. Help your child get involved in activities that make him feel comfortable and confident enough to take on a bigger challenge.

12. Show your love. Let your child know that you love him no matter what: win or lose the big game, get good or bad grades. Even when you're mad at him. Making sure your child knows that you think he's great (and not just when he does great things) will build his self-esteem, even when he doesn't feel good about himself.


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