5 Tips to Help Children Manage Anger
The emotion that makes children angry, irritable, or resentful is anger. At times, children may yell, throw or break objects, and even hit or insult their classmates, parents, or teachers. A negative emotion that must be controlled from an early age.
“Rage and aggressive behaviors are evolutionary resources to favor survival, but, in the human case, they can move within normal limits or exceed them. Opposition is necessary, inevitable, varied in its expression, frequently incomprehensible, sometimes destructive, usually linked to communication defects, and sometimes pathological. It is part of the normal development of the child and reflects all his efforts in search of autonomy”,
In some stages of the child's development, this anger increases, such as between the ages of 2 and 4, pre-adolescence and adolescence. Children become angry in response to external threats and even when they realize that something may pose a future threat. Humans defend themselves against any threat, even against our own feelings of discomfort attacking.
For children, a small disappointment such as not buying them a toy or not being able to have an ice cream can seem like the end of the world at that moment. They do not have a fully developed brain to regulate and control their anger. As they grow and mature, they acquire the ability to manage their anger constructively if they live in an environment where this feeling is controlled.
Tips to Help Our Children Control Their Anger
Parents have to try to ensure that our children learn to control their anger from an early age. Although it seems simple, many times it becomes a complicated task. The first thing is to recognize that our son has these anger attacks. If some days when we take him to school in the morning he starts crying and kicking because he doesn't want to go to class, we have to consider that our son has fits of rage. We are going to give you several tips to help control these uncomfortable situations that concern us all.
1. Recognize The Feeling of Anger
What we have to do is recognize that our son does not know how to channel this feeling. We have to help him calm down and identify the cause of his anger. Sometimes children don't even know why they are angry. When he has calmed down, we have to talk to him and find out the cause of his attacks. Our children should feel safe when faced with a broken toy or the fear of a classmate who insults them. Feeling supported by their parents will help them find a solution without resorting to anger.
2. Set an Example
If we are not able to control our anger, how are we going to get our children to do so? We have to set an example and learn to control ourselves. If we yell at our children habitually, our children will imitate us in the face of any problem. However, if we are calm even when we are angry, they will learn to control their anger. Many times it will be a heroic effort to control our anger, but it will be necessary to find solutions.
3. Manage Anger Constructively
Parents have to learn to control our impulses and those of our children. We have to accept our son's anger, stay calm and try to calm him down little by little. Yelling at our son when he is angry will not only not be effective, but will increase the storm. He has to learn to calm down without hurting any person, space, or object. Nor does it work to send our son to the thinking corner or to his room alone. It is better to leave him close to be present when he calms down. Our role as parents is to restore calm since our children will only be able to dialogue and understand what they have done when they are calm. We have to teach them to breathe at least four times calmly and calm down as soon as possible.
4. Do Not Allow Destructive Actions
From an early age, our children have to learn to limit any type of destructive action. We can never allow them to hit other classmates, their siblings or even their parents or teachers. They have to know that, even if they are angry, that feeling never justifies aggression. Nor should we allow him to break any object, either his own or that of others.
5. Constructive Problem Solving
Anger attacks can help change things so that the cause that caused them does not repeat itself. If a child takes his sandwich every day in the yard, we will have to ensure that this situation does not happen again. Recognizing the problem is the first thing we have to do to solve it. It will not be easy and it will even take a lot of time and effort, but it will be the only way to overcome the problems.
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